


Darlin', you'll be alright

by pinkamour1588



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 10:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12318801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkamour1588/pseuds/pinkamour1588
Summary: “I’ve got you. You’re ok.”Leonard’s first experience with how bad Jim’s nightmares can be.





	Darlin', you'll be alright

It had been days since Leonard had gotten a good night’s sleep. Between late nights studying and long hours in the clinic, Leonard wanted nothing more than to sleep for days. Unfortunately, he had an eight AM shift the next morning, so he was taking what sleep he could get. At least tonight he was able to go to bed early.

So much good that did. He was woken up around one o’clock to Jim tossing and turning and mumbling in his sleep. Leonard sighed and went to get up to sleep on the couch when Jim whimpered.

Leonard froze and looked over at his sleeping boyfriend. “Lights ten percent,” he whispered furrowing his eyebrows. In the dim light of the room, he could see a thin sheen of sweat covering Jim’s body and the blond’s chest heaving as he panted. He considered for a moment grabbing hold of Jim and holding him tightly as he tried to wake him up, but when he moved close enough to do that he received a heel to his shin and the back of a hand to his face. It wasn’t hard enough to break his nose, Leonard could tell that much, but it was hard enough to make it bleed. He shuffled out of bed and to the bathroom to deal with the nosebleed.

While he worked to get his nose to stop bleeding, he stood in the bathroom doorway watching Jim get progressively more tangled in the sheets. Once his nose did stop bleeding, and he washed his hands, he went back to the bed, opting to stand next to it this time.

“Jim, wake up,” he said, though it took repeating it a few times before the blond opened his eyes and looked at him.

Jim’s entire body was trembling and he was panting. Every inch of his face showed the utter panic he was feeling.

Leonard slowly got back into bed and laid down facing Jim before cautiously reaching over and running his hand down Jim’s arm slowly. Jim opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a whimper.

“Come here,” Leonard said softly, gesturing Jim closer.

Jim just stared back at him unsure before slowly inching closer. When he was close enough, Leonard put an arm around him but didn’t pull Jim closer. Instead, he just pressed his hand to Jim’s lower back.

It took a few minutes, but eventually Jim was pressed up against Leonard. His face was close enough to Leonard’s that the doctor could see the tears Jim was holding back.

“What were you…” he began, but cut himself off when Jim sniffled and shook his head. “Ok,” he whispered trying to ignore the ache in his chest as he gently stroked Jim’s back.

Jim just stared at him for a long time before asking, “You won’t judge if I cry, right?” his voice barely audible.

“Not one bit.” Leonard gave him a small smile.

He hesitated for a few moments before turning over. Leonard may have said he wouldn’t judge, but Jim still didn’t want him to see his face as he cried. He pressed his face halfway into the pillow and let out a sob. If Leonard thought Jim was shaking before, it was nothing compared to how badly he was now. The blond shook with every gasping breath and sob.

“I’ve got you. You’re ok,” Leonard whispered over and over against Jim’s shoulder, pressing the occasional kiss to the damp skin.

Eventually, Jim’s breathing steadied and Leonard realized the blond had fallen asleep. Pressing a lingering kiss to the back of Jim’s head and his shoulder, Leonard settled in keeping his tight hold on Jim as he drifted off to sleep.

He woke up a little less than six hours later to the beeping of his alarm clock. Carefully as not to wake Jim, he pulled away, turned the alarm off, and dragged himself out of bed.

The shower woke him up a little, but he was still fairly out of it as he got dressed and made coffee. While he put his boots on, he looked over at Jim and let out a soft sigh. Jim’s lips were chapped and his eyes were puffy. There was a little dried snot on his face, and on the pillow. He turned around and found a piece of paper and pen, scribbling down a quick note as legibly as he could and leaving it on Jim’s nightstand. Leonard leaned down and kissed Jim’s forehead before picking up his bag and leaving.

~

Jim rolled over at around nine o’clock to find Leonard’s side of the bed cold. He was awake in an instant, heart pounding as he sat up and looked around the room for any sign of the doctor. He let out a long sigh and looked over at his alarm clock to see what time it was. Tucked underneath the edge of the clock was a piece of paper. His hand shook as he reached over and picked it up, preparing himself for the worst.

_I had an early shift in the clinic to get to. I’ll meet you in the mess hall at six for dinner, or I can just stop in there and get us food and we can eat in the dorm. Send me a message on which you’d prefer._

_I love you._

_Len_

_P.S. What ever it was you were dreaming about last night, darling, I promise you, you’ll be alright._

Jim stared down at the note, rereading it a few times as the tightness in his chest loosened. He sent Leonard a message asking him to just pick up food so they could eat in their dorm.

~~~

When Leonard returned at a few minutes to six, he was instantly hit by the smell of cleaning products. When he walked the rest of the way in, he saw the room looked absolutely pristine, like the day he and Jim moved in. Except for the part of the bed being made instead of the bedding all folded neatly on top of the mattress. Jim was sitting at the desk in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, working on an essay for his diplomatic relations class. He glanced over at Leonard out of the corner of his eye for a second, then looked back at his PADD.

“You cleaned,” Leonard said a little suspiciously as he set the boxes of food down.

“Figured I should pick up my dirty socks eventually.”

“You did more than pick up your dirty socks.”

“Guess I got on a roll.”

Leonard eyed him curiously as he got silverware out of the drawer and sat down across from Jim. The blond set his PADD aside and took his box of food and silverware.

“You alright?” Leonard asked as Jim took a bite of food.

Jim opened his mouth to say that he was, but quickly shut it and shook his head.

“What’s wrong?”

Jim shook his head again. “I don’t want to talk about it. At least not now.”

“Alright,” Leonard answered biting back insisting Jim talk to him.

~~~

Leonard was awoken around two in the morning by the bed shifting as Jim got up. He watched through bleary eyes as Jim walked over to the couch and settled down with his PADD. Jim pulled up some video and started watching it, though mostly he was just staring at the screen blankly.

“Jim,” Leonard said tiredly after a few minutes.

Jim jumped, startled and looked over at Leonard.

“What’re you doing up? It’s two in the morning.”

“Can’t sleep. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Come back to bed then. We can talk.”

Jim shook his head. “In the morning. You need to sleep.”

“So do you. And it’s not like I’m incapable of sleeping if you’re sitting in bed.”

“I’m watching something.”

Leonard sighed. “Jim, come here. Please.”

Jim didn’t answer, but after a few minutes he glanced over at Leonard to see the doctor still looking at him. After a moment of hesitation, he stood and padded back over to the bed. He climbed in and sat with his back against the headboard. Leonard sat up and moved so they were shoulder to shoulder.

“So, what are we watching?” Leonard asked looking at the screen.

“Huh?”

“What are we watching?”

“We?”

Leonard turned and looked at him. “Yes, ‘we’. If you’re not going to talk, we can at least watch whatever this is together.”

Jim stared down at the screen for a minute, then whispered, “Tarsus.”

“That what you were dreaming about last night?”

Jim nodded. “One of my–the–kids I was keeping safe wandered off. I found them but some of Kodos’s men were taking her. She–she was–was…” He shook his head unable to continue.

Leonard put an arm around Jim and held tightly. “Did that happen?” he asked cautiously.

Jim just nodded. “She was five.”

Leonard didn’t say anything this time, instead just rubbing Jim’s side.

“I’m sorry about last night. I was being pathetic and a crybaby. You had to hold me and had to leave a note to make sure I knew you were coming back and get woken up by me thrashing around in my sleep.”

“No, you weren’t. You were not being pathetic and you were not being a crybaby.”

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

“I’m not lying though. Jim, look at me.”

It took a few moments before Jim turned to face Leonard.

“Jim, every single one of those things is something you get because you’re my boyfriend. Hell, you’d get all of those things even if we weren’t dating. I care about you, so holding you while you cry and leaving notes and staying up because you’re not ok are part of that. Those are things I signed up for when we started dating.”

Jim looked at Leonard confused.

“Who did this for you before? After Tarsus,” Leonard said.

“My mom. She was back planetside for about a month afterwards. Then she had to leave again.”

“And after she left?” Leonard was sure he knew the answer already, he just needed to hear it.

“No one.”

“But you know you have someone now?”

Jim nodded automatically, and Leonard didn’t believe him for one second.

“Jim, you know that you have someone now, right?”

Jim blinked back tears.  _Don’t cry. Don’t be so pathetic._

Leonard took the PADD from Jim’s lap, shutting off the video and setting it on his nightstand on top of his own. He turned back to Jim and pulled him closer. “I want you to listen to me, alright?”

Jim nodded.

“I need to hear you say it.”

“Alright,” Jim whispered.

“You have someone now. You have someone who will sit up with you because you need to talk and actually listen. Someone who will tell you they’re staying, and mean it. Someone who will hold you when you cry. Someone who wants to hear when you have a nightmare. Someone who just wants to see you genuinely happy. Someone who loves and cares about you. The real you. Not cocky, smartass Jim Kirk, though he loves that one too. You, James Tiberius Kirk. That’s the man I love.” Leonard paused for a minute. “I know you don’t like being vulnerable. No one does. But it’s ok to be.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, Jim, it is.”

“I can’t be. I need to keep myself together.”

“Not with me.”

Jim stared back at him and hastily wiped the tears that escaped with the back of his hand.

“Lay down with me. We can talk or sleep or just lay in silence.”

“Ok,” Jim whispered.

After a decent bit of shuffling around, Leonard was laying on his back with one arm around Jim securely. Jim had his head on Leonard’s chest, his head tucked under the doctor’s chin and his arm draped over him. It took a little while but eventually Leonard felt Jim’s silent sobs as the blond curled up tighter against him.

When Leonard was pretty sure Jim had fallen asleep, he closed his eyes and rubbed Jim’s shoulder lightly with his thumb. “Darlin’, you’ll be alright. I promise,” he whispered though he knew Jim couldn’t hear him anyway.

He didn’t see the faintest smile on Jim’s lips as the blond fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://pinkamour1588.tumblr.com)


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